I wouldn’t want to give the impression that my life is just one continuous whirl of wafting around museums and galleries or discovering talented distant relations. There’s a certain amount of tedious monotony one has to get through before enjoyment is permitted.
Domestic drudgery is one of life’s necessities and I tackle mine on a what’s-needed- most-basis, rather than having a fixed routine as I know some folk do. I tend to take the ‘life’s too short to stuff a mushroom’ approach, a phrase coined by Shirley Conran in the seventies.
During a working week the bare minimum gets done but now with time off I am already sliding guiltily into thinking that a thorough, intense overdue spring-clean is in order.
How dull.
I start off with good intentions – planning my attack from the comfort of my morning bed while waiting to leap purposefully into the shower but by the time I’ve eaten breakfast and cleared away, the enthusiasm for all things household has worn off and I’m seeking excuses and distractions. As indeed I do when there is writing to be done. Suddenly a pile of ironing has never looked so appealing. Life can be so perverse.
I suffered an enforced incarceration last week which was the ideal time to set to which I did with gusto. I’m well aware that this sudden burst of domestic goddess-ery was brought on by a conversation I had with my hairdresser who revealed that she wipes her kitchen cabinet doors down every night. I have to say she made me feel inadequate and ashamed.
Stumbling across a Channel Four programme called ‘Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners’ didn’t help either. I was riveted: how two people with diagnosed OCD would cope deep cleansing the old country house of an eccentric hoarder made fascinating TV. As soon as the two dirt-o-phobes cleared anything out, the hoarder snuck around to the rubbish and claimed it back again. I don’t know who had the greater problem but all of them were cheerful enough about their predicament. They made me think I’d hit normal on the dirt to clean scale.
Now, this particular enforced incarceration I mentioned earlier began with what we thought at first was a piece of junk mail but which, on closer inspection, suggested that we may be eligible for free loft insulation.
Us? Free? These aren’t words that usually coincide where we are concerned but it was worth a phone call. This call elicited a visit from the gas board who carried out a short survey and, lo and behold – yes! – we were entitled!
I arranged a time for the work to be carried out and was then forced to wait in for them to arrive. Which they did: on time and with very little fuss, completing the job in a little over an hour. Which was all very well except that I was then free to be distracted: but not, I hasten to add, before the area below the bed was designated a dust free zone and all the paintwork wiped down with a squirt of Flash.
So while I can feel smug in the knowledge that things here are beautifully spring-cleaned for the time being this comes as a reminder to occasionally check your junk mail. You never know what little goodies might be lurking therein.
This post forms the third part of a challenge thrown down by Sherri, over at her Summerhouse. As Sherri herself has already changed the rules of the challenge which originally was to post five pictures and five stories on consecutive days (ha! not a chance!), I shall be taking a more relaxed attitude towards the rules myself. I’m supposed to nominate someone to take up the challenge after each of my next five posts but I’m not going to do that. Suffice to say, if you feel the urge to challenge yourself to five pictures/five stories (fact or fiction) then please feel free.
charactersfromthekitchen 
So hilarious, brightened up my lunch break! I think your talents are far better spent entertaining us with your writing than wiping your kitchen cabinets.
Ah bless you Denise. I’d forgotten that there’s a whole army of behind the scenes school workers still at it. Good for you – hope you get some time off this summer 😀
Army of one today! Well, almost. Maybe four of us. I am setting up next year’s marksheets to do a whole load of new things with Assessment Without Levels. So yes I needed a laugh!
Well I guess someone has to do it 😆
Ironing…yuck! I no longer buy clothes that require ironing, Jenny. I don’t even know if I still have an iron. Glad to hear your house is spic and span clean. I suppose it’s time to hit the galleries!
Ooh Jill – I’m a bit particular when it comes to ironing – I never let the pile get too high but I just can’t bear clothes in a pile – I like them put away neatly so I just do ten minutes here and there. I used to hate it but now find it quite calming – how sad is that!
Why would anyone waste their life wiping kitchen cupboard doors every night? I thought once a year was good. A friend of mine told me that now that the sun was shining she could see how dirty her windows were. I asked her what she did. “Closed the curtains, of course,” was her reply.My sort of gal!
We did have a laugh about it – she knows every night is excessive. Your friend sounds like my kinda gal too 😃
“Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners.”’ Alas, the things we colonials miss over out on over here in the States … although I must say the scenario you described sounds rather intriguing, sort of an immovable-object-meets-an-unstoppable-force type battle.
That’s exactly it. I bet you’d be able to pick up the programme somewhere on cable TV. We get all sorts of weird and wonderful imports from the States – Lizard Lick Towing springs to mind – not that I watch it you understand but my son finds it hilarious 😀
Yes – as they say – 600 channels and not a thing to watch. Of course, when I want to catch a certain baseball game it’s nowhere to be found, but there’s plenty of women’s basketball, little league baseball, competitive poker, ice dancing, spelling bees, dog shows, etc.
That’s not to knock folks who like to watch that sort of stuff, but at some point we devolved from highlighting mainstream events – at least in the US – to a nation of niche programming.
Of course, I have the most basic cable package available (read cheapest) because I can’t see shelling out a king’s ransom to lay in front of the television.
Well, now there is a good story about the Gas Company. Wow
Well, credit where it’s due… 😃
Hooray for free loft insulation but not for cleaning cupboards every night…what???? I am ashamed because I don’t know when the last time was I ever did that…but coincidentally, I do now have a sparkling cooker hood and clean fllters thanks to hubby 😉 Jenny, you made me laugh out loud with this…I think that now your house is so spic and span (I do like a nice bit of clean paintwork) you can get back to your galleries with gusto 🙂
Oh those cooker hoods. Designed by idiots – how are you ever supposed to clean them – horrendous job.
Actually I can think of lots of things that are badly designed which make cleaning an even more arduous chore. The washing machine filter – so near the ground that it floods every time it needs un-bunging. Maybe I should throw this out to challenge – who can come up with the worst design ever in the history of housework.
Haha…that’s why it never got done until hubby said he would do it, as I couldn’t bare it! And don’t even go there with the washing machine filter, dreadful things to clean as you say. I think you would be onto a good thing with this theme Jenny, I’m sure we could all find more than one or two pet peeves, putting it mildly, when it comes to housework 😉
The problem with housework is, as soon as you finish, you know this is as good as it will be. It can only get messier and dirtier from this point. Very discouraging. Especially when others are doing so much to contribute to the dirt and mess.
Ironing I enjoy – in small batches. Very satisfying to take a wrinkled shirt and make it nice and smooth and crisp and wear it right away. It feels good and I feel good. Susan’s on to me though, so she leaves out what she plans to wear right where I iron my daily clothes. She’s not as dumb us I look!
Yes, it’s like the painting of the Forth Road Bridge, you’re absolutely right. I agree about the ironing – I don’t really mind it too much and like you, do it in small batches. However, I do think Susan has the best idea of all 😃
Mrs. Ha is (in my view) OCD hygiene and cleaning. Drives me mad. Even the dog is subject to very strict controls. My refuge and sanctum is my study, which gets a relatively light touch. I consider distractions an absolute must when it comes to housework. You deserve a medal if you have spring cleaned.
I don’t think I’m at the medal winning stage yet and by the time I am it’ll be ready to begin again.
Has your dog learned to wipe her feet? I’m imagining what these strict controls might be…
I’m with Jaqueline ^^ – also I believe I own an iron but I couldn’t tell you where it is exactly 🙂
😃😃😃
I loved this! But note: life is never too short to stuff a mushroom… On second thoughts, stuff the mushrooms, I’m off to the art gallery…
Thanks Bruce – very eloquently put!
Jenny, you really should not be wasting time with cleaning, clearing, tidying or indeed, even stuffing! Every time I read your posts I think you should be writing every day. So enjoyable! ‘Fess up time, I have been so busy creating sparkly things housework has quite gone to the dogs. My daughter came and cleaned my windows for me the other day – they were tad grimy I admit – who knew the sun was shining? Give up all other forms of work – Write!! xoxo
Pauline – thank you for those wonderful words of encouragement – you are too kind!
Your saying about your housework going to the dogs put a wee vision in my mind of Siddy mincing round with feather duster and wearing a floral pinny (apron). It was only a fleeting thought, mind.
Is the sun shining with you? Are you through the worst of your winter now? Our summer has just taken a nosedive but that’s par for the course as we’re into the holiday season😀
I had just said to my friend that the lovely weather is causing my thoughts to turn to planting up my spring garden – A big ploy by said weather to fool us into thinking the worst is over ……….. I meant what I said – you are a writer!
I don’t remember the last time I wiped down my kitchen cupboards….I too believe that life is too short to spend too much time cleaning – I do however like a tidy up. I used to tidy the shelves in shops when I was little – but don’t be thinking I’m compulsive about it, now I like the mess to build up a bit before I have a big blitz 🙂
I must say I enjoy having a clear out. I love chucking things away or packing them up for the charity shop or boot fair. (The latter could well provide another post 😆). Clearing out is so much more rewarding than cleaning – in the right mood I could fill a skip.
Ha, this made me smile Jenny. I caught part of a day-time program last week where Aggie (the cleaning lady) was talking about beds and how often you should change sheets, wash duvets, vacuum the mattress!! What? you are supposed to vacuum the mattress? Gulp! I went upstairs and immediately changed the sheets and even washed the OH’s pillow, I felt so guilty. I did look at the mattress…it looked fine to me 🙂
I was cajoled once by my sister to vacuum the mattress – she has a dust allergy – she said I wouldn’t believe what came out. She was right. The amount of fine white powder that filled the Dyson could’ve been bagged up and sold on the streets. I was appalled – I’ve never done it again. As none of us here are dust allergic I thought it best to leave well alone and let sleeping mites lie.
I like your kind of thinking 🙂
I try to avoid shows on television where cleaning is the subject matter. I endured your post about cleaning since you are a distant friend who I admire, Jenny. Now, you do know that you have permission to gallivant for awhile, since you made your home presentable again. and gasp! don’t let that hairdresser know that I clean my fridge door only once a month, only if I notice a chocolate smear or a Kool Aid spill from grandies. 🙂 Kudos on your great cleaning job, Jenny!!
That TV show I mentioned – one of the OCD cleaners cleaned her fridge twice a day with anti bacterial wipes – imagine that. It was one of those programmes that once started I couldn’t stop watching 😀 I think a bit of bacteria is healthy although I always reel in disgust at mould on the cheese.
I am not fond of mould on cheese either, Jenny! Gross! My Dad would insist on skimming it off with a knife since he said cheese naturally has mold and it is not that bad, take Blue Cheese, he would say, it is full of mold. I did not like Blue Cheese until an adult and must admit I try not to think too much about the whole way it came about. 🙂
I do watch some of those strange shows about hoarders and people with OC/DC. I actually remember that I liked Jack Nicholson in his role where he was rather a fanatic, while he fell in love with a restaurant server with a child, wasn’t this Helen Hunt? The child was sickly andn he had to learn to deal with it. “As Good as It Gets” I believe. I am off to help my oldest daughter rearrange her furniture, will have to check back over the weekend, I am afraid. Take care and try not to clean anymore, you make me feel guilty!! 🙂
Don’t feel guilty. Normal situation regarding cleaning schedule resumed here 😃
Your hairdresser and my friend Della are a matched set, Jenny. She has three bathrooms in her home, and even when the bathroom in the guest wing hasn’t had a guest or any use at all, she still cleans it from top to bottom every Monday when she cleans the other two bathrooms. And she completely washes the towels, sheets, and pillow cases in the guest wing bedroom every week, too. She even laughingly says she went five months without any guests but still never missed a week of cleaning.
Your friend Della has too much time on her hands! Perhaps a TV channel could make a show about her. Or maybe she has imaginary guests…in which case she should stick to imaginary cleaning.😄
Hahaha! 🙂 What a great post.
I love how ironing becomes attractive on the scale of things to do – the same happens to me. Cleaning – bah. I do it because I have to but I hate it. I don’t feel any friendlier towards yard work, either.
Great tip about checking the junk mail. I once got a rebate from my city that way when I bought new energy efficient kitchen appliances.
Seems we are on similar wave lengths again, what with your post on packing up/throwing out. And I will glance through the junk now before it goes into the recycling – it’s very satisfying getting something ‘free’ 😀
Well now, you seem to have taken some of those sentiments straight from MY head. LOL–how often do we start the day with the best of intentions. Cleaning up being one of them (yes, sock from my eldest son’s foot sitting there, for no good reason by the corner of the dining room table, I’m looking at YOU) and, after a time all sorts of things seem so much better.
Did you remember to say “Rabbit Rabbit” this morning?
Ha! The tradition here is to say ‘white rabbits’ for the first of the month… at least we did when we were children. And no, I did forget…in fact, I even left the calendar on July until the evening – now does that mean I’m doomed luck wise for August? 😀
Could be. You’ll just have to be extra good and build up positive karma to compensate ☺
Jenny … Thanks for the chuckles. I love the philosophy of “life’s too short to stuff a mushroom.” I find myself looking for ways to escape the house so I don’t have to feel guilty about the chores that need done. But, guilt follows me EVERYWHERE. 😉
Oh don’t let it Judy – I’m sure that like everyone else here, me included, you do enough. Being busy elsewhere is an art form 😆
Thanks, Jenny. I feel better already. 😉
Love that ‘life is too short…’ quote 😀 I’m ‘obsessive’ in the kitchen and can’t leave the house without making sure there are no dishes in the sink and that every surface is sparkling clean. This I get from my gran who was a ‘clean freak’ and rarely seen without her apron on. However the rest of the house is a whole other story…
Yes, I like a sparkling kitchen. And a bathroom – so satisfying to see it gleaming. Better than dusting which nobody ever notices.
Ugh – housework and such. Necessary evils but still evils in their own way. ☺
Yup – evil is the right word!