Posts Tagged ‘housework’

I wouldn’t want to give the impression that my life is just one continuous whirl of wafting around museums and galleries or discovering talented distant relations. There’s a certain amount of tedious monotony one has to get through before enjoyment is permitted.

Domestic drudgery is one of life’s necessities and I tackle mine on a what’s-needed- most-basis, rather than having a fixed routine as I know some folk do. I tend to take the ‘life’s too short to stuff a mushroom’ approach, a phrase coined by Shirley Conran in the seventies.

During a working week the bare minimum gets done but now with time off I am already sliding guiltily into thinking that a thorough, intense overdue spring-clean is in order.

How dull.

I start off with good intentions – planning my attack from the comfort of my morning bed while waiting to leap purposefully into the shower but by the time I’ve eaten breakfast and cleared away, the enthusiasm for all things household has worn off and I’m seeking excuses and distractions. As indeed I do when there is writing to be done. Suddenly a pile of ironing has never looked so appealing. Life can be so perverse.

I suffered an enforced incarceration last week which was the ideal time to set to which I did with gusto. I’m well aware that this sudden burst of domestic goddess-ery was brought on by a conversation I had with my hairdresser who revealed that she wipes her kitchen cabinet doors down every night. I have to say she made me feel inadequate and ashamed.

Stumbling across a Channel Four programme called ‘Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners’ didn’t help either. I was riveted: how two people with diagnosed OCD would cope deep cleansing the old country house of an eccentric hoarder made fascinating TV. As soon as the two dirt-o-phobes cleared anything out, the hoarder snuck around to the rubbish and claimed it back again. I don’t know who had the greater problem but all of them were cheerful enough about their predicament. They made me think I’d hit normal on the dirt to clean scale.

Now, this particular enforced incarceration I mentioned earlier began with what we thought at first was a piece of junk mail but which, on closer inspection, suggested that we may be eligible for free loft insulation.

Us? Free? These aren’t words that usually coincide where we are concerned but it was worth a phone call. This call elicited a visit from the gas board who carried out a short survey and, lo and behold – yes! – we were entitled!


I arranged a time for the work to be carried out and was then forced to wait in for them to arrive. Which they did: on time and with very little fuss, completing the job in a little over an hour. Which was all very well except that I was then free to be distracted: but not, I hasten to add, before the area below the bed was designated a dust free zone and all the paintwork wiped down with a squirt of Flash.

So while I can feel smug in the knowledge that things here are beautifully spring-cleaned for the time being this comes as a reminder to occasionally check your junk mail. You never know what little goodies might be lurking therein.

This post forms the third part of a challenge thrown down by Sherri, over at her Summerhouse.  As Sherri herself has already changed the rules of the challenge which originally was to post five pictures and five stories on consecutive days (ha! not a chance!), I shall be taking a more relaxed attitude towards the rules myself. I’m supposed to nominate someone to take up the challenge after each of my next five posts but I’m not going to do that. Suffice to say, if you feel the urge to challenge yourself to five pictures/five stories (fact or fiction) then please feel free.




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What is the meaning of the word gadget? I checked the dictionary and am now totally confused.

  1. Ingenious device – a small device that performs or aids a simple task.
  2. Trivial device – a small device that appears useful but is often unnecessary or superfluous.

So perhaps I don’t mean gadget at all. Perhaps ‘labour saving device’ would be more accurate. How do you get on with those? I’m not sure that I do, on the whole, although I wouldn’t be without the washing machine or dishwasher especially if someone else does the loading and unloading. I could live without a microwave oven though – it seems to justify its position only by heating milk for the odd hot chocolate or reheating spaghetti sauce.

I’m sure that some of the objects we’ve had as a household over the years, either bought or gifted, have been designed with the best intentions of making life easier for the user, to save time doing mundane tasks. But do they? How much thought has really gone into these items by their design teams and testers? Who are these testers, I wonder, and do they test them in real life situations as well as in their lab/design studio?

The first item I have issue with is my bag-less vacuum cleaner. I was sucked into having one of these on the back of a brilliant advertising campaign which preyed on my domestic anxiety by suggesting that up until the point at which I used one, my house was filled with microscopic dust particles that my old vacuum just wasn’t picking up. My house, therefore, was filthy.


It’s an upright Dyson. No doubt at all about its aesthetic qualities – but did Mr Dyson, during one of the alleged 5127 attempts at getting his design perfect, ever lug it up two flights of stairs? It weighs a ton and is awkward to carry. The see-through cylinder has its drawbacks, too. We might be fooled into thinking that just because we can see the multicoloured striations of accumulated house dust it must be picking up more detritus than its with-a-bag predecessor – but how do we really know? Then there’s the micro-filter to deal with. You’re supposed to remove it periodically and wash it. Just don’t forget to put it back because it makes a hell of a mess if you don’t.

Emptying the cylinder is fraught with difficulty, too. Where is one supposed to do this task? Outside is like the random scattering of a loved one’s ashes with the wind in the wrong direction. Indoors and there is every likelihood that millions of micro particles will escape and burrow themselves ever deeper into your carpets while an ash cloud billows up into your face. Having shelled out a not inconsiderable sum for this monstrosity I’m loathe to ditch it just yet, but I’m not happy.

 A gadget that I’ve definitely not missed since it found its way to the charity shop is the slow cooker. Given to us as a wedding present by a well meaning aunt, I persevered with it for a while, following recipes from the accompanying cook book. However, it was certainly not labour saving, as meat and onions had to be browned before it was transferred to said pot, requiring reluctant culinary skills before 7.00am plus I’d arrive at work smelling like I’d been selling burgers from a van outside Wembley Stadium. Neither did it produce a very nice meal to come home to after a long day at work and a disrupted commute. Most of the recipes suggested six hours to cook anything and at that time we were probably out of the house for almost double that, so would arrived home starving to a pot full of slushy over cooked mush.

Toasters: we’ve had several different types over the years ranging from two to four slice capacity, cheap to expensive models and none of them produce consistently toasted bread so while not fulfilling their purpose, they are taking up valuable space on the work top. We end up toasting under the grill.

Cappuccino/espresso maker: Been there, done that. Regular readers will know that I’ve divested myself of any coffee making related gadgetry – you can’t beat an old fashioned Cafetière. Too much cleaning involved with the other variety which fails to deliver a decent cup at the correct strength or temperature.

So I come to the latest addition to my labour saving arsenal. A few weeks ago, on the recommendation of a good friend, I purchased a steam cleaner. It comes with a myriad of attachments, can be used upright to clean floors in a jiffy or hand held it tackles those difficult to clean places like your hob, your upholstery, around taps and your shower tray. The combined enthusiasm of my friend (Mrs N. – you know who you are), and the cleaner’s accompanying literature convinced me that this would cut my cleaning time in half.  Well, frankly, the jury’s still out. Having wrestled to get the thing put together in the first place I realised almost immediately that, for me at least, there is a major design flaw. Being tall, the handle height appeared to be at a comfortable level until I discovered that the lever which must be continually pressed down for steam to be released is situated at the base of the hand held area, shortening the upright by around four inches. Now this might not sound much but I can assure you it increases the angle of lean considerably thereby increasing the level of back ache.

A steam cleaner is also supposed to obviate the need for detergents which sounds very environmentally friendly I know,  but cleaning just doesn’t feel the same without a bottle of Flash or Cillit Bang to hand. And all that steam! Surely it goes somewhere to create mould related cleaning problems for which I’m betting there’ll be another gadget. However, I shall persevere for a while: if all else fails I can always get aforementioned friend to come round and give me a demo.


Wait a minute: that’s just given me a thought. The best labour saving device ever must be to employ a cleaner; a treasure who’ll come round regularly and do all those tedious jobs for you. Worth their weight in gold, I reckon. Is that a bit bourgeois? I’d be doing my bit to decrease unemployment. It’s a win win situation.  Hmm … I bet they’d get to grips with a steam cleaner. Perhaps I could stipulate a height requirement in my advert …

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